is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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