matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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