so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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