Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Thanks?

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  (269): butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it (734): Thanks? http://tfl.nu/zk2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1316) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3639) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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  (519): I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke http://tfl.nu/3o1y
  Replies (50) Good night (1386) Bad night (2907)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

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  (478): She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks http://tfl.nu/vee8
  Replies (22) Good night (4777) Bad night (1722)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

  (917): View more from New York City

  smooth operator

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  (718): he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty (917): smooth operator http://tfl.nu/2sej
  Replies (25) Good night (7939) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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  (937): Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed. http://tfl.nu/c6ek
  Replies (8) Good night (2924) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2978) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.

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  (952): pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient. http://tfl.nu/mkyj
  Replies (2) Good night (3338) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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  (714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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  (512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy
  Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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  (336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z
  Replies (5) Good night (1578) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

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  (803): I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits. http://tfl.nu/etyq
  Replies (5) Good night (509) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

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  (617): He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/svv0
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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  (830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.

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  (207): My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off. http://tfl.nu/aji8
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (323)

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