Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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  (267) 4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room.. http://tfl.nu/v238
  Replies (7) Good night (3852) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy

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  (708): Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy http://tfl.nu/5os8
  Replies (25) Good night (667) Bad night (2741)
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  (510): View more from California

  It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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  (510): It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house... http://tfl.nu/3wgf
  Replies (6) Good night (3417) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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  (615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl
  Replies (23) Good night (3431) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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  (518): After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you" http://tfl.nu/k4ce
  Replies (42) Good night (1360) Bad night (6712)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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  (208): when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers" http://tfl.nu/yspu
  Replies (6) Good night (4988) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

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  (617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life. http://tfl.nu/dy8h
  Replies (17) Good night (5238) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.

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  (705): in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out. http://tfl.nu/um8l
  Replies (5) Good night (1908) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.

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  (616): I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate. http://tfl.nu/d8ay
  Replies (4) Good night (1397) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft

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  (415): If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft http://tfl.nu/qde3
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

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  (931): Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running http://tfl.nu/vdeh
  Replies (6) Good night (687) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.

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  (218): She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever. http://tfl.nu/8rzl
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

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  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?

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  (616): your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial? http://tfl.nu/h7zs
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed

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  (843): yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed http://tfl.nu/7mxw
  Replies (5) Good night (280) Bad night (471)

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