i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
wow bdsm is so cute
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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