Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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