My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
