break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
