Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
