Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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