we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
