I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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