sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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