Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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