playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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