His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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