I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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