then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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