Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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