this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
