You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
