We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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