i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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