Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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