i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
