I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
