Yo dont text me then not text me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
