apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
