Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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