dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
