The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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