omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
