Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize