Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
