i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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