I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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