Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
zippers are such a cool invention
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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