Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are all done wearing pants today
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
