i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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