Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize