ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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