Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
