oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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