turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My bed smells like the plague
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
