we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize