I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize