i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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