So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
