first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
