Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
