she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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