You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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