Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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